From the author: You always have to rely on something! The ability to negotiate, the ability to protect one’s borders are the properties of a well-adapted person. Many clients who come for consultation or therapy dream of having such qualities as: resourcefulness, the ability to promote their interests, the ability to notice a pitfall and not allow themselves to fall into it. When something is in short supply, it all starts with a dream. And for a dream you need the original building material. This material is not always indisputable, but you still have to start somewhere. I offer you a series of stories that I hope contain the necessary samples. History No. 1After the end of the Second World War, when the leaders of the victorious powers were deciding what to do with the German navy, Stalin proposed dividing it up. And Churchill made a counter proposal: “Sink!” Stalin replies: “So you will flood your half!” Feel free to decide for yourself! Share honestly! And don't let others decide what concerns you! Otherwise it will only get worse! History No. 2 A number of sources present such an episode as a true case. One colonel general reported to Stalin on the state of affairs. The Supreme Commander-in-Chief looked very pleased and nodded twice in approval. Having finished his report, the military leader hesitated. Stalin asked: “Do you want to say anything else?” “Yes, I have a personal question. In Germany I took away some things that interested me, but they were detained at the checkpoint. If possible, I would ask them to be returned to me.” “This is possible. Write a report, I will impose a resolution.” The Colonel General pulled out a prepared report from his pocket. Stalin imposed the resolution. The petitioner began to thank him warmly. “No need for gratitude,” remarked Stalin. Having read the resolution written on the report: “Return his junk to the colonel. I. Stalin,” the general turned to the Supreme Commander-in-Chief: “There is a typo here, Comrade Stalin. I am not a colonel, but a colonel general.” “No, everything is correct here, Comrade Colonel,” Stalin replied. For your concession, always demand a concession from the other side! And never, never do it differently! Otherwise it will only get worse! Story No. 3 When Mao Zedong visited Stalin, he asked permission to settle 20 million Chinese in the Soviet Far East. “I have enough of my own 200 million,” answered Stalin. Do not accept unfavorable offers! Refuse what you don't like! Otherwise it will only get worse! These, frankly speaking, witty stories of negotiations at the highest level illustrate a lot in the lives of the most ordinary citizens, on almost every corner. It is no coincidence that many people like such well-known negotiators, for example, Ostap Bender. We sometimes lack knowledge of our interests and the ability to defend them. As well as the ability to “know” the interests of the other side. And be attentive to them... Projective identification and prohibitions interfere... This, however, is another story... If there is not enough - of course, does not mean that it is completely absent. This is an important distinction. And it will only get better!