. When insight happens during a consultation, it is not as joyful as you think. A new understanding comes. And also the realization that I had previously built my life based on an erroneous belief. Very wrong. This is comparable to the fact that all my life I believed that all objects should fly up when they fall, but in fact they fly down. Because there is a law of universal gravitation. And most importantly, I saw it - everything was flying down. And it falls painfully on the top of the head. And you think that maybe I’m throwing it wrong, maybe it’s the wrong time of year, maybe it’s the wrong place, maybe the coat is the wrong color, maybe I’m somehow different. Lots of excuses and searches for a solution based on erroneous premises. This means not a single correct conclusion. Only the complexes grow and smell. And then, when exhausted and tormented, you go to a psychologist so that he can teach and advise (which is also wrong, because the psychologist does not advise anything), and you begin to understand yourself. Layer after layer, one wrong rule of life after another. And you walk along the road called BIG TRAUMA and you reach the source when it arose. Still small and unintelligent, whose teeth have erupted, but there is no gyrus yet, who does not know life and is completely defenseless before the world and before people. And he is especially defenseless in front of the closest people - mom, dad, grandmother, grandfather, kindergarten teacher. After all, these people are needed to protect and trust them. That's what they say. So the baby trusts them. And endures pain and resentment. And he explains to himself as best he can. Have you heard baby talk? This is how he gets something for himself. Wrong. Baby. For example, that everything that falls falls upward towards the sun and sky. And the parents will also confirm this, so as not to bother, so that they are left behind, so that it is convenient for them. And when during a consultation, after active resistance and superficial understandings, you reach this source, and look at the situation based on experience, then suddenly insight comes . Like a sharp knife comes. It hurts. Because suddenly you see that your whole life followed the rules of a frightened baby. And you lived. And what’s surprising is that he somehow survived, and achieved success in many ways. And he’s just overcome with pain and resentment for himself. How I didn’t understand this before. And how to live on now. When the shock passes, life will become easier and simpler. Because a huge jamb that was slowing down forward movement will be removed. And now it will be possible to discard the unnecessary things and stop bothering ourselves about fictitious conventions. Change an error to a correct one. It's like returning defective equipment to a store and getting a new one in return, one that works, without a scratch. Insights are painful. But after going through them, everything goes differently. Somehow it’s easier and simpler, or something. And with yourself, and with others, and with life in general. After what questions do insights come? After unpleasant questions. For example, Who and when guaranteed you that if you are a good girl, then everything will work out for you like in a fairy tale? And not a single narcissist will stick to you? Why did you believe that others can offend you, but you can’t give back? Why is it that all people can make mistakes, but you can’t? Who and when promised you that parents should love their children? There are questions different. I choose one for each one. And the client understands how much effort and time was wasted. Because when you are a good girl, you are used and not appreciated. And if you say NO, then all the users will scatter, and only those people who valued and accepted before will remain. We saw in you what you had not yet seen. It’s enough for them that you exist, because they feel good with you anyway. You understand that when they beat you, and you endure it, they beat you harder and harder and don’t expect pity. And that’s why it’s easier to answer the abuser once in such a way that he remembers and doesn’t lash out anymore, but walks around on tiptoe and brings cookies. And if you allow yourself to make mistakes, then it will be easier to make a choice. Nobody knows what will happen until you try. Did not work out? Let's go another way. There is strength - so does time. And nothing bad will happen. And an error can suddenly turn into.