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Codependent people have a highly distorted self-image. It consists of a false self, imbued with the beliefs and opinions of other people, which the codependent relies on to evaluate and identify himself. There is another point where the codependent moves away from reality. This is the idea of ​​omnipotence, which originates in childhood. “I can do it, I can handle it, I will control it,” and a person goes and tries to do it, but his resources turn out to be limited, as are his capabilities. These attitudes come from parents when they encourage their child to take responsibility early. Here are a few examples: A woman finds herself in an unsatisfactory relationship with a man. “I’ll live for a month, see how it goes and leave if I don’t like it.” A month passes, another, six months, the relationship only gets worse, but the woman does not leave. She cannot break off a relationship that does not suit her. Something is always missing for this step. Another example. A woman lives with an alcoholic. “That’s it, I’m going to bed today and I won’t call him at night, I won’t wait for him to come.” What is the result? We see on the screen of his phone more than seven missed messages and in the morning her black bags under her eyes, because she again waited for him until 5 am. Codependents think that they can really take responsibility for another person, control his life, cope with the they couldn’t handle it before, change their attitude towards the situation, and they really believe in it. The idea of ​​control and power seems quite natural to them and fits into the picture of their life, because this is what they are used to and what they have lived with for many years. But everything has its price. This is a moment of strong disappointment in one’s image and a lot of shame that, It turns out that man is not as omnipotent as he imagined. It is important to experience this disappointment, and to see and accept the limitations. After all, the very moment that somewhere I give up in the face of circumstances, somewhere I am not so strong and cannot do something, really brings relief to a person. If a person manages to face this disappointment and get through it, this opens the way to inner freedom.

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