You didn’t think we’d be talking about wines, did you? Today we continue the conversation about emotions and feelings. This time - about the feeling of guilt. Guilt is an unpleasant (to put it mildly) feeling when a person believes that he has done something that has caused harm to other people or to himself. Are you familiar with it? Few will say no. But, oddly enough, there are people who do not even know what wine is. They are, however, about two or three years old)) Or even less. The feeling of guilt is formed between the ages of 3 and 6 years. During this period, the child is actively exploring the world, and if you interfere negatively with this process - often stopping, scolding, shouting, criticizing - then the child develops deep-seated beliefs “I am bad”, “I do everything wrong”. And with age, a neurotic feeling of guilt develops - when you haven’t done anything, and the feeling that you did something wrong often appears. Neurotic guilt arises without accusations from others, it is based on the fear of rejection (“if I express my own opinion, then they will stop communicating with me”, “if I say “no”, then they will abandon me”...). This is the main difference from a “healthy” feeling of guilt - when real harm has actually been caused to someone. Guilt can arise for a few seconds, or you can live with it for years. How to get rid of or at least reduce the feeling of guilt? First, analyze whether the guilt is neurotic or real. Here are questions that will help you figure this out: - who exactly am I to blame? - what exactly did I do (or didn’t do, but should have done) wrong? - what real harm did I cause to these people? - how did their lives worsen in connection with my action? If the guilt is real, then there are different ways to alleviate your condition. For example, figure out whether I’m the only one to blame for everything or were there other participants? Perhaps I am guilty, but not 100%, but only 17%. All the methods that we use when we have made a mistake are also suitable - correct, make amends, be punished, apologize: * Correct - that is, try to return everything to the way it was , “repair”.* To make amends - to somehow compensate for the damage caused, if nothing can be fixed. * To be punished - the punishment completely removes the guilt. The plot of Dostoevsky’s novel “Crime and Punishment” is based on this. But this should only be a one-time, understandable, time-limited punishment. You should not punish yourself, for example, by overeating, drinking alcohol, etc. That is, slowly killing yourself, gradually harming your health.* And, finally, if nothing can be done, then only one thing remains - to apologize with terrible force! If the guilt is neurotic, then you can try to change the way you react - rehearse in your imagination how you can react differently to situations that cause an unreasonable feeling of guilt (holding up a line, cutting someone off on the road, expressing disagreement, etc.) But the main thing is, even if you corrected everything, apologized and were sincerely forgiven, do not forget to forgive yourself yourself! Take care of yourself! You are the most valuable thing you have! If you are tired of coping alone, I invite you to a consultation! WatsApp, Telegram, Viber +7 921 993-16-39First consultation (online) free!