Help from a psychologist for infertility. The story of one client Today I want to show you one letter. This is a story of gratitude from a woman, now a mother, who came to see me for the first time with a perinatal loss. I appreciate her kind words addressed to me, but the main thing is her search and her story, given below in selected parts. I hope that it will be interesting and useful to some women on the path to motherhood. "Why?!" - this question has been tormenting me for two months now. Why did this happen to me? Why was I so stupid before? Why didn’t anyone teach me how to be pregnant properly? And many more “whys”. They were eating me up from the inside, I can’t find another word. Their insidious work never seemed to stop. As soon as one “why” got tired of gnawing at me, another immediately took up its destructive work. It seemed to me that this would never end. After all, if it could end, it would probably have stopped already. Well, such misfortune cannot last forever. And one day the “why” really began to become weaker, but it was replaced by “what next?” and “Where can I hide?” Then, and this happened about two months after the miscarriage, I realized that I was losing control over myself, over life, over events, and I needed help. I turned to various psychological and medical literature, Internet articles, but very quickly realized that no one was telling me what to do next. No one gives an answer, no one gives advice, but only states the facts. This makes it easier for exactly a minute, and then it all happens again. At this time, my work colleague and close friend recommended that I contact Ekaterina Istratova. I called and made an appointment. Well, a psychologist won’t bite me, an adult woman?! And then, I really wanted to talk, ask and get answers. I simply no longer had the strength to endure everything alone. No, my husband, of course, helped. The first two weeks. After that, for some reason, he decided that he had had enough of grieving, and everything else was my stupid whims, which began to irritate him. I’ll say the main thing: I’m grateful to my friend, the occasion and myself that I got to the reception... Everything changed from the first meeting. I myself love order and real things, so I will tell you briefly but informatively what I received and understood. Firstly, at the appointments I was finally able to open up and admit to myself how painful, unexpected and scary everything that happened to me was. This turned out to be very important. Before this, I walked around with a huge load that I didn’t even notice anymore. I thought that everything I had experienced had grown together and was forgotten. But only after working on it did I feel lightness and clarity of mind. Oh, happiness, this state has already been forgotten. Secondly. If you've read about the causes of miscarriages and infertility, you've noticed a lot of vague factors. Nobody talks about this for sure. I realized that this is because only we ourselves know the exact reason. Only our knowledge is important to us. We can only gain this knowledge through psychological work, which turns our views upside down (at least for me) and expands our capabilities. To be very specific, the reason for my failure was my inner reluctance to have a child (at that time). Not wanting a child from this man (who I had then). Internally, I lived in anticipation of another life, which was about to come, but for some reason was delayed. In the meantime, it was necessary to “serve the sentence” in these relationships with all the ensuing consequences (if there is a family, then there must be children, that’s some kind of nonsense). Thirdly, life after a miscarriage is some kind of nightmare. I lost my calm, confidence, femininity. Self-esteem fell somewhere below the plinth. And only persistent psychological work (not always pleasant) allowed me to raise my head high again, get rid of stress, set my priorities correctly and start living. Fourthly, I will say that it was psychotherapy that allowed me to “start living.” Before