Are you familiar with the situation when one turns away from an object of adoration (be it a material thing or a person) literally in a day, despite all the advantages of this object? And even after pointing out to a person how beautiful this object was, how he himself treated it and valued it, the person does not accept any arguments, clearly convincing himself of indifference to it. Here we see the mechanism of devaluation, which psychoanalysts have talked about a lot. Devaluation is a special psychological defense, as a rule, immediately following idealization. If a person sees only good in any object, clearly shows feelings for it and has very serious intentions to be near the chosen object, he idealizes it. The problem is that the image of an object in a person’s head is unreal. He himself created it, choosing only certain object aspects for perception. Idealization cannot last long, and in the end a person begins to see a more real picture, which does not always coincide with the image in the head. The negative aspects of an object are perceived with hostility, and a person is not ready to accept them, because this destroys the ideal picture. And here another protective mechanism of the psyche comes into play - devaluation. “Primitive devaluation is the inevitable flip side of the need for idealization. Since nothing is perfect in human life, archaic ways of idealization inevitably lead to disappointment” (McWilliams, 2001), writes the American psychoanalyst. Thus, the system works like a pendulum - having deviated towards idealization, it is followed by an inevitable deviation towards depreciation. People devalue for different reasons. Although psychoanalysts do not consider this psychodefense to be mature (it is called “primitive psychodefense” by McWilliams), it is very convenient to use. If a person cannot achieve something, if the obstacle is too great, it is much easier to devalue this goal, as if it were completely unimportant. Then you no longer need to achieve something and worry about it, because the problem has become petty. Here, the “convenience” of this psychoprotection can play a cruel joke - a person gives up what he started, spoils relationships with loved ones, changes sexual partners, his sphere of interests and activities. As a result, he may lose something really valuable to him. Therefore, it is possible to suddenly fall out of love. Objectively (from the outside) it seems so. The man sincerely loved the girl, showing it with all his behavior, and then conveys coldness and distance. A striking example of the work of idealization - devaluation. Only from the outside it looked like love, but in reality it was irrational feelings of attraction, fusion, desire to be together with an idealized object. Devaluation occurs when a man begins to see his partner as a real person, with pros and cons. Cons act much more harshly than usual, and provoke the beginning of depreciation. The pendulum swung in the other direction. To understand whether there really were sincere and healthy feelings between two objects (not necessarily a person-person, sometimes a person-object), you need to pay attention to how the object relates to the object of adoration? Does he see the disadvantages and how does he react to them? How does one behave in the absence of crushed adoration? Does he adopt his habits and characteristics? Roughly speaking, there is so much objectivity and rationality in the relationship. Idealization is not a strong, healthy set of feelings, so it easily turns into the opposite process - devaluation. It is worth distinguishing between the work of psychological defenses and real feelings.