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From the author: For those who want to better understand and manage their feelings and emotions. Often the reason for contacting me as a psychologist for individual and family consultations are difficulties in managing their emotions, feelings of my clients. When outbursts of anger, aggression, resentment or jealousy overwhelm a person from within and spill out on his loved ones in the most inappropriate situations. This article is for you: those who want to understand the dynamics of emotional processes and learn how to manage it not only in themselves, but also to help their loved ones in this difficult matter. What is important to consider? What information can you rely on to learn self-regulation? First of all, it is important to realize the enormous role of emotions. It is impossible to imagine our life without experiences, feelings, emotions. They accompany us everywhere: at home, visiting, when we study and work. Our ups and downs, joys and sorrows - everything is filled with feelings. They carry very important information for us: whether we are good or bad, they are indicators of the satisfaction of our needs. Many people are accustomed to brushing aside feelings and emotions and not attaching importance to them, believing that worries distract them from serious matters and thoughts. There is even such an idea - a misconception - that an intelligent person is a rational person, without feelings. And an emotional person is a weak person. From a psychological point of view, these ideas are far from reality, and most importantly, they prevent people from living in harmony with themselves. Since the presence of contact with your feelings and emotions, the ability to understand and manage them determine not only psychological, but also mental health. It is no coincidence that in medicine there is a special term - “alexithymia”, which denotes difficulties in communicating one’s feelings, states, and the inability to express one’s emotions constructively outside. Alexithymia is most often observed in psychosomatic diseases (such as peptic ulcers, bronchial asthma, coronary heart disease, etc.). If a person tries to escape from his feelings, trying to suppress them or not notice them, hiding from them, then he loses his bearings and for myself. It becomes difficult for him to make decisions, to choose between alternatives, because, having suppressed unpleasant emotions, a person loses internal indicators for himself of what is good and what is bad for him, it becomes difficult for him to answer questions about what he wants to do and what not wants to do. And since feelings are united, avoiding and suppressing so-called negative experiences: fear, anxiety, anger, leads to a decrease in the expression of such pleasant emotions and states as joy, satisfaction, inspiration. Moreover, holding and squeezing dissatisfaction, resentment, anger, anxiety into ourselves leads to an exacerbation of our diseases, the appearance of headaches, fatigue, tension and weakness.

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