No one will deny that each of us comes into a relationship with our own desires, manner of communication and character of behavior. However, the choice of a love scenario is strictly determined - we always build a family, focusing on the already familiar experience of intimacy, in other words, we take the example of our parents. This is the nature of things, you can’t do anything about it. What if you and your partner don’t hear each other and don’t understand your deepest needs? In addition to developing communication skills as a couple, the ability to accept, forgive and support, it is good to learn about the relationship style that you both rely on. Where do your ideas about family differ, where do you need to be more attentive to each other? There are three styles of implementation in relationships • Anchor person - stable psyche, reliable attachment to a partner. • Island person - unstable psyche, avoidance of a partner, bias towards independence .• Man-wave - unstable psyche, ambivalence of feelings, tendency to codependency. Let's figure out what kind of person you and your partner are in relationships. Find your type in relationships: “island”, “anchor” or “wave”? Type 1. Man- anchor: it’s good alone, but better together! People of this type come from healthy, loving families, so relationships don’t scare them, they know how to value themselves, be grateful, and easily adapt to the needs of their partner. The character is strong, strong-willed, they do not run away from responsibility, they know how to show care, give support, and speak openly about their feelings and desires. They will not waste time on someone who does not feel mutual sympathy for them. But they will not run away from a relationship in crisis until they have tried all methods to improve the situation. Reliable and selfless in love, able to admit mistakes, wait for a partner if the situation demands it. This is the healthiest type of attachment of the three. How to understand that you are an “anchor” type?• You feel equally good both in relationships and without them, you like to give love.• You value yourself and your partner, try to be on equal terms, invest in the well-being of the family.• You easily express your feelings and views, love tactile contact, trust your partner by default.• It is difficult for a loved one to make you angry, you easily find a common language with him, look to the future with a positive attitude. Type 2. Person -island: I want love, but don’t get too close. People of this type behave like hedgehogs or hermit crabs in relationships. It is difficult for them to trust their partner, they are used to being independent, doing everything on their own, intimacy causes them stress, irritation, and fear of vulnerability. They often keep their distance, have strict boundaries, and easily tolerate separation and loneliness. They open up for a long time, they can idealize the partner, and then sharply devalue him. They are afraid of conflicts and open showdowns, they prefer to immediately run into their shell, hiding behind business and work: “oh well, forget it,” “I thought we already figured it all out,” “well, how much can we talk about this.” How to understand that you Are you an “island” type?• You need a lot of freedom and personal space as a couple, you can’t stand pressure and encroachments on your territory.• You love loneliness, are not used to letting others know about your plans and decisions, it is difficult for you to decide on intimacy.• In relationships you take more than you give, sometimes they are extremely unpretentious. Excessive attention and care from your partner is suffocating you. • It is difficult for you to relax and open up in the presence of your other half. If there is any problem, it is easier to run away to your refuge or pretend that nothing is happening than to solve it. Type 3. Wave person: I can’t live without love, but relationships always hurt me. People of this type can be compared to a rebellious sailboat seeking peace in the storm. In relationships, they are thrown from one extreme to another - either they are ready to do anything for the sake of love, wanting to dissolve in a partner, then they feel used and rejected, they rush to be the first to put an end to it... but it ends up being an ellipsis. They find it difficult to maintain stable attachments. Often.