Do relationships between a man and a woman become more complicated if there are stepchildren? Is it possible to ignore or not take into account their presence, being impressed by falling in love and everything that a man and woman give to each other. For the sake of love or for the sake of children, do they enter into a relationship in the first place? Love them as your own! - We love each other, but the relationship has deteriorated. My husband has children from his first marriage. They live with their mother for a week, and with us for the next week. My husband expects me to be their mother. I will love them better than their mother, since he has a bad opinion of the children’s own mother. I don't feel motherly love for them. I treat you well, but there is no love. The children treat me well too. I am against them entering our bedroom without permission and lying in our bed when I am lying there. The boy constantly tries to kiss me. I do not allow. My husband is outraged by this, he starts shouting at me. “The father of our children was an indifferent and empty person. We parted. He is not interested in children. I met a man who loved me. He's a good husband. I want him to be a good father, but we have different views on education. We quarrel over this. What to do? Children have their own mother and father. They conceived children. Mom carried and gave birth. This is a fact that cannot be disputed. Therefore, the place of mom and dad is taken. Demanding that a new husband or wife take the place of a father or mother means “pushing” the natural parent out of his place. This is violence. Do you agree? If you demand this, as in the client stories above, then you are forcing the new husband or wife to become the aggressor. This is why they resist. Give up the created picture and expectations. The following phrases will help you with this: - You are my husband. You are my wife. And only so. You don't have to be their dad. You don't have to be their mom. I release you from this role. You will be a mom or dad to our common children. And now you are my husband or wife. And this is true. Demanding love from you for step-children or forcing you to raise children based on imaginary patterns is to destroy relationships. It is important for each of the participants in this situation to take their place. - I am your wife. This is my spot. Your children have their own mother. She carried them and gave birth. And I bear our common children. - I'm your husband. This is my spot. I am ready to help, support, teach the child what I can do. It is important to treat children with respect and kindness, and not to resent the fact that they were spoiled and raised incorrectly. You can replace their mother or father for them only when the children themselves want it. There is no need to be jealous of your partner for your own children, but more on that in the next article. Series of articles “I don’t want to be a stepmother”© All rights reserved. Reprinting an article or fragment is possible only with a link to this site and indicating the authorship. A guide to my books: about women's destinies, psychology in metaphors, useful things about children.