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The topic of farewells or closure in psychology and psychotherapy is diagnostic, and one can say goodbye in different ways. But the very style of how a person ends any relationship says a lot about his personality and his problems. As a rule, farewell is a rather difficult moment, when some relationship of a person ends, and he moves on to a new stage - either liberation and search for a new one, or to a new relationship. The way of saying goodbye speaks of a person’s inner maturity, stability and separation. So, what are the common farewell styles?1. Farewell through quarrel and aggression. In these cases, in order to say goodbye, a person needs to say something unpleasant to his interlocutor or completely quarrel with him, so that the boundary of the end of the relationship becomes as clear as possible. This style of farewell speaks of strong attachment, internal lack of independence and instability of a person. At the level of feelings and emotions, he cannot live without the other, and therefore at the moment of farewell he has to not leave, but break the connection. Instead of the “come-to-go” relationship format, in which one’s “I” and the other’s “I” are preserved, he uses the “merge-disconnect” format. The stronger the merger, the more aggression you want to put into completion. Only a big bomb can break a strong merger. And the material for this bomb consists of understatements and misunderstandings in the process of relationships. To merge with another, a person sacrifices himself and does not say in the moment what is incomprehensible or uncomfortable to him. When the time comes to say goodbye, it all suddenly spills out. And I want to completely destroy the connection that was once significant, so that it wouldn’t be so painful, and not finish it carefully and carefully for both parties. 2. Farewell through silent care and ignoring. This method of saying goodbye is also very aggressive, but passive aggression predominates in it. Instead of finding out something, discussing and ending the relationship in an environmentally friendly way, in this case the person chooses an abrupt end. This is often due to unlived feelings accumulated during the relationship. Instead of bringing them into direct dialogue with another person, the person preferred to keep them to himself. The holding strategy usually leads to the fact that incomprehensible or unpleasant moments accumulate, and at some point he can no longer bear it. And ignoring means that in this way a person says goodbye, cutting off all hope for dialogue. Instead of dialogue with the other, he most likely continues to conduct an internal dialogue with himself about the other, with his projections and fantasies. Or he prefers to abruptly forget about someone who was recently close, displacing meaningful experiences without elaboration.3. Farewell through slow fading. This option is very common when a person has already made a decision within himself to say goodbye, but he lacks the determination to act. Perhaps he is afraid of the response to saying goodbye or is afraid that he may not be let go, just as his parents once did not let him go. And he chooses a cunning passive-aggressive strategy of gradual departure. He answers less and less frequently and in monosyllables, appears less often, and eventually disappears into the fog. This strategy speaks of a lack of inner courage and fear of responsibility. Instead of a direct and honest farewell to the point, such a person prefers to maintain intrigue and keep the other party in suspense. 4. Farewell through dialogue. This way of saying goodbye is the most mature of the ones listed above. In it, a person can directly, but ecologically, say everything that happened in contact with another, ask all the questions and move on. At best, after such a farewell, the parties can retain the opportunity to cooperate and contact each other in the future, because this way of saying goodbye implies maintaining, not breaking, a human connection. Yes, some format of relationship with a specific person has come to an end, but another is quite possible. Or you can agree on a pause or temporary stop..

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