From the author: The article was published on the website of the Center for Positive Psychology "TAK!" www.treningi.meHow to preserve love? Psychologists say that passionate love in a couple begins to fade 3 years after meeting. Hormones, they say, stop playing, and what remains, at best, is friendship and habit, and at worst, disgust and fatigue. In general, if after 5 years boredom and fatigue set in in your marriage, this is a normal phenomenon. It’s sad. I prefer young old women and old men who constantly hold hands and kiss furtively. In addition, my marriage is already 5 years old and I know for sure that love and passion never go anywhere, it’s just that behind everyday things we can stop noticing them and can lose sight of them. And then each family begins to be unhappy in its own way . When love and joy leave a relationship, “worms” of doubts, unmet expectations, incompatibility, differences in values ​​and others crawl out. And…..God, where were my eyes! And I gave my best to this man... And this grumpy... woman is my wife... Of course, I do not rule out that incompatibility may indeed occur, but it usually manifests itself much earlier than love and passion leaves the relationship. If You intend to maintain the union if you were once a great couple, but now it’s somehow bland, boring and not as bright as before, you can easily return everything. If you make love :) And in most cases, you won’t believe it, such platitudes that you always knew but didn’t do work great. They are so simple and universal that we forget about them. And in vain! Start doing them right from today and you will see how your relationship will be filled with joy and love. And one more thing: it’s never too late to start! And even if your relationship is now in such a state that following these recommendations will make you look “like a fool” or “like an idiot,” just keep doing it and watch how your relationship changes. 1. Hugs and kisses. At least 3 hugs and 3 kisses a day for no reason! Minimum! By the way, due to a lack of physical contact, a lot of sores can arise. Whereas a strong loving hug can relieve muscle tension caused by stressful and other unpleasant situations.2. Sweet words. When was the last time you called her or him affectionate words? Have you been calling Loan or Zaya for 10 years? Already good! You can already come up with something original that reflects the individuality of your other half. A few affectionate nicknames urgently! Use your imagination! Little goat, little mouse, little pussy…. Continue! Childhood? So love, passion, it is always next to childishness. In addition to good words, there are bad words. And you can’t even imagine the blow they deal to relationships. Almost irreversible destruction. If you saw the energy of the relationship and these holes, you would think many times before saying. - Goat. You can't do anything! - Stupid fat cow. My eyes wouldn’t see you! Do you think they were just words, let off steam and forgot? This is a voluntary and direct murder of love and passion in a relationship. And there are two people involved in this murder. Don't want to be an accomplice? Just keep quiet! Better yet, neutralize the negative emotional charge of your partner with something affectionate or affectionately erotic. You are good because..... One of the reasons why new love burns so brightly at the very beginning is that we find contact with ourselves through another. Another sincerely admires us, tells us about our qualities, how magical we are, and we begin to feel as if in cotton candy clouds. And after a few years of marriage, the clouds begin to fall to the ground. And in vain! After all, a man still needs to feel the most significant and powerful, and a woman the most loved and desired. Take the time and tell your other half how wonderful he or she is! 3. Rituals of loveRitual of meeting and seeing off. When we are loved, we are always greeted and seen off. Remember how sincerely children do this andpets. Sometimes even your partner may not notice this consciously, but once you get used to it and forget it somehow, they will definitely remind you! The same applies to the rituals of saying goodbye to good night and good morning! Everyone probably has (had) their own rituals: yours the song you danced to, your jokes, your love spots, your movies, just your habit of rubbing noses together. Remember the rituals you once forgot and start performing them again!4. Cooperative activity. Time for two. Start doing something pleasant and interesting together. Not everyday duties (cleaning, shopping), but something really enjoyable for both of you. Your interest and joy in your joint venture will spread to your relationship. This time should always be time just for the two of you. Work isn't working, kids? This is your choice. In my opinion, it’s better to eat a sandwich with butter and without sausage, but with your loved one, than to save on paying for a couple of hours of nanny work and spend time earning an extra thousand instead of pursuing your love. Well, again, there’s no time, you say, in the apartment srach? I wonder what you would choose: a night of love or a clean apartment? What about your partner? And I will never believe that it’s clean! Can't you do that? Blindfold yourself and him! :)6. Caring for another. During the candy-flower period, we always remember that he has long wanted to buy this book, and the tap at home is leaking. And they immediately rushed to look for the book and fix the tap. And over time, this becomes less important. Think about what your partner wants at the moment, how he lives and show concern. The concern is not about what you really want (for him to eat healthy food and for her not to sit watching TV at night), but about what your other half really really wants.7. Symbols of love. Surround yourself with symbols, reminders that love is around you. What kind of symbols they will depend only on what aspect you want to improve, revive in your relationship. Starting from your wedding photos, a pair of doves and ending with a sculpture of hippos, where one is on top of the other. The symbols will delight and set the mood of love not only for you, but also for your soulmate. 8. Let newness and passion into your life. No, no, this is not about having a new partner, but about other areas of your life (hobbies , work, business, personal development), by introducing novelty and passion into which, you will automatically “breathe” passion into your love relationships! At first, perhaps, you will begin to do all this unilaterally. And your spouse and those around you will first twirl their fingers at their temples - they are accustomed to a different type of behavior from you. But you know that now everything will be in the best possible way and completely different. And your soulmate will have to get used to the better. After all, you must admit, having stupidly made a claim: “the house is not swept”, hearing from your wife “I love you, cat!” And give the standard response: fool! There is a good parable on this topic: an old man caught a goldfish and said: “I want my wife to die, and in her place to appear a beautiful girl, a stately, well-behaved, affectionate hostess.” “No, old man, says the fish, you can’t let it die. They'll start to figure it out. You will be dragged through the courts. Let's do this, your wife will gradually turn into a beautiful maiden, so that people will not suspect anything wrong. And in a month it will completely change. But you are a grandfather, and you will also have to live up to the young woman. Otherwise he’ll run away from you. “Of course,” says the grandfather, I’ll buy these... flowers right now. He bought it, came to his grandmother, stood behind her, and looked closely to see if there were any changes. And the grandmother, when she saw the grandfather with the flowers, lost the power of speech, pulled down her skirt, blushed, what an old fool. She baked pies. Grandfather was delighted, the fish did not deceive! He began to hover around the grandmother with oily eyes, but the grandmother had put on perfume and combed her hair, so you couldn’t recognize him. And so, after a month, the grandfather and the young woman began to live in perfect harmony. I wish you Love and Joy! And to completely lose your head from love for your soulmate! And if you don’t have one, it’s easy41623135