“Why do some have everything, while others have nothing?” Indignation on the verge of despair has already acquired a formed speech form and has become a common popular expression. And yet: why, for example, do some people find the work of their whole life and achieve high results in it, while others only get “seats in the auditorium”? One can try to answer these questions based on many different interpretations of the life course. Someone explains everything that happens to a person, including his failures and achievements, by fate, predestination or luck. Some people see connections with the “right” and “right” people as the main tool for professional development. And someone, without further ado, concludes: if you can’t achieve success, you’re not trying hard enough. I’m not sure that ideological clashes between these camps are advisable, since important nuances remain unclear: what is considered success, what are its criteria, does start-up capital matter, that is, the opportunities with which a person begins his journey, and much more. The very concept of success in a broad sense means the achievement of set goals, a positive result of some directed activity. At the same time, this result can be assessed from at least two positions - objective and subjective. “Objective success” gravitates towards the social recognition of an individual as meeting generally accepted criteria of well-being: health and beauty, money and power, position in society and connections with other people, popularity and demand... “Subjective success”, in turn, is a complex experiences of the individual himself, which is based on the internal model “expectation/reality”. The closer what is received to a person’s idea of ​​what he wants, the happier and more successful he feels. It's no secret that external assessments of success can and often do not coincide with internal ones. This contradiction cannot be ignored, since without taking it into account, the whole meaning of the chosen behavior strategies in life is lost. One of the tasks of a consulting psychologist is to help a specific person correlate his strategies with those goals, the achievement of which involves a reward in the form of a feeling of success, happiness, well-being . The conditions in which these sensations can unfold are so unique that there is not and cannot be a single algorithm for achieving success. Everyone travels through life on their own path, choosing for themselves the optimal pace of movement and the preferred landscape outside the window. However, as, for example, in real road trips, in life there are general principles, patterns, rules that can help you get to your destination faster, and most importantly, without unnecessary costs and sacrifices. I propose to consider the factors that hinder the achievement of subjective success. For clarity and simplicity, I propose to call these factors inhibitory. So, when do we metaphorically step on the brake pedal in an attempt to get to our destination...1. When we confuse the actual goal and the ways to achieve it. For example, if we have a toothache, then we want to see a dentist. But being in the dentist's chair does not mean achieving the goal. Our goal is the absence of pain in the oral cavity, physical and emotional comfort, in a word, health. This is where we really want to go. It should be remembered that you can get to the same goal in different ways. Unfortunately, not all of them are reflected on “public” maps, where mostly familiar, stereotypical routes are drawn. In this sense, visiting a psychologist is a good opportunity to get your own personal navigator, thanks to which the risk of getting lost in the thorny forest of life is significantly reduced.2. When we work exclusively for results and/or strive to get it as quickly as possible. The so-called reward system is involved in this matter. The neurotransmitter dopamine, which is responsible for the feeling of euphoria after the completion of some important process/task, stimulates us to move forward, motivates and energizes. But if expectations about reward andthe speed of its onset is unrealistic, then an emotional decline occurs, interest is lost, and the risk of burnout arises. Visible results and achievements are necessary for us, like signs with mileage and route number, to understand that we are moving in the right direction, but the path itself can be no less attractive if we switch to other details.3. When we don’t know how to enjoy the process. The question “why am I doing this every day?” indicates that such an aspect of human activity as routine has begun to stick out and put pressure on motivation. It would be a good idea to start by really answering this question for yourself in order to clarify the final goal (see point 1). If everything is in order with the goal, you can explore the ability to see the useful and beautiful in the same type of actions. Routine, despite the accepted negative connotation of the word, is still very important: it streamlines life, organizes space and time, gives a feeling of predictability - such a valuable resource in a turbulent and unstable world. In addition, in various professions and activities one can discover almost the magic of transformation under the influence of man of materials and abstract images into harmonious, well-functioning systems and forms. What it will be: the slider of a seamstress’s overlocker sliding across the fabric, the dance of numbers and mathematical formulas in an accountant’s program, or the falling waterfalls of metal shavings from under a milling machine – it’s up to each of us to decide.4. When we are afraid like fire from outside criticism or accept our doubts about our own competence as truth. We are really not ideal, we often make mistakes, forget about important things, or simply don’t know something. It'll be this way forever. However, there will always be those who notice this. Like patrol officers who stop to reprimand or issue a ticket for violating the rules. But is this a reason to stop moving altogether? Criticism and even self-criticism is an incentive to search for your vulnerabilities, which you can and should work with. Is it difficult to figure it out on your own? You can take a psychologist as your partner.5. When we use envy for other purposes. Yes, yes, envy can be useful. Its main function is to point a person to an idea of ​​how he can satisfy his need. This instruction, framed in “I wish it were like that for me,” is literally a compass, the arrow of which indicates the direction in which to invest one’s efforts. Let me emphasize again - direction! If a classmate’s photos from a vacation in the Canary Islands evoke envy, this does not mean that you need to put your life on the line to earn money for the exact same trip. Perhaps you just want to go on vacation, where it’s warm and beautiful? Something to think about.6. When we firmly believe in a predisposition to some kind of activity and the opposite. It happens that from the time of school a person is convinced that he does not know how to draw/write essays/make stools, etc. Growing up, he carries this idea throughout his life, ignoring the fact that much has changed in his arsenal of skills and abilities since those times. Living with the feeling “this is not mine, I won’t even try,” such a person diligently avoids opportunities and offers to try himself in a new role. In fact, it is never too late to change the vector of your activities if you have a conscious desire and understanding of the ultimate goal. Yes, you will have to face limitations and difficulties, but more on that below.7. When we consider the limitations and obstacles on the way as absolutes. This summer, my family and I discovered the format of mini-travels around our region. On one of our trips, we found ourselves on a highway, driving on which did not bode well: puncturing a tire, skidding, or getting stuck were our “fantasies.” But the treasured views of the Irtysh coast, unexplored by us, never ceased to beckon. A country road that ran parallel to the highway helped us get to them. Under those conditions, it turned out to be an ideal—comfortable and safe—strategy. It’s the same in life, if, for example, you always dreamed of becoming an actor or actress, but life’s limitations did not allow you to do this, perhaps.