Category: Family Code of a New Family Everything in our lives is temporary and temporary, there is nothing that can be kept forever. Why then do they say that true love is eternal? Because it lives in our children and is passed down from generation to generation, formed and cultivated in the family. Only love as a form of energy is eternal and undergoes its own evolution, it lives in our children, and therefore we can only comprehend it in the family. Each of us is the embodied love of our father for our mother, this is the limitless power inherent in the wave nature of our DNA and this is an opportunity to transmit and improve the model of family relationships through our children. When a child appears in a family, any parent strives to feed, shoe and educate their offspring in such a way that they do not perish in the world and can function. These skills are the minimum need that a parent must provide for their child: teach him to serve himself, take care of himself, and then develop his personality so that it successfully interacts with the world of people. Family education is the most difficult aspect of human relationships, since we We can’t run away from our loved ones anywhere until we solve the problem facing us, and often these problems get worse and don’t allow us to move on and live happily. How to build a harmonious family and at the same time not repeat the mistakes of our parents, from which we ourselves suffered, and how not to let the process of upbringing take its course, perhaps a good person will carry on and grow up, handing over the reins of upbringing to social institutions: school, kindergarten and the street. Three children appeared in my life. Each of them taught me how to interact with them and I, of course, was guided by the models of my family. Mom, conservative and pedantic, always demanded high-quality performance of her duties. She was strict and kept her distance from me, thinking that we could not be friends, there should be “the proverbial respect” between us. I always felt that I lacked her attention and love, I blamed her for this, however, as an adult, I saw that my mother simply had no time, since she had to work at work, and then work at home, caring for us. She had practically no time even for herself, let alone for conversations and persuasion. That’s why my mother has always been tough and demanding for me; she, like most women who are forced to work from morning to evening, communicates with children in the form of a report on the past day. And every time there is simply no time to give your child affection and love; children often get sick, demand attention and love through the mechanism of self-pity and do not want to grow up. Dad, on the contrary, was a person who allowed everything, due to the fact that he also had no time, he preferred to be kind and good and often said: “Come on...” and this made him feel some freedom and let go of situations that he did not want to change: do homework on time, cook dinner, etc. These two models formed my personal family model and idea of ​​how to behave with children. We simply didn’t know our loved ones, because they all built a “bright future” and worked long and hard in production. And our generation today can partly be called a lost generation, because many values ​​were not instilled and nurtured, their formation was transferred to society, spiritual values ​​that are cultivated only in the family through personal example and through direct education. Our generation has great difficulty building a family, and being on maternity leave becomes a test for young mothers and an unbearable time for fathers. Mothers, who were sent to kindergarten at the age of one and a half years, and some even earlier, were taught from infancy to function among people, while the personal individual aspect of the child’s development did not occur. Society does not replace the family; “the family is the unit of society” is the most terrible distortion of the political system of our country’s past. What should we do now, those who are still trying, but do not know how and what to do with children? How to teachlove, how to raise a child correctly, all the systems of the past have already lost their relevance, since the world has now changed from an industrial society, we have sharply entered an information society and completely different laws rule here. This problem arose before me when I gave birth to my third child and saw houses in to my family, what is sagging in my relationships, or rather, that I don’t know how to build these relationships, I don’t know how, and most often I just don’t want to. I don’t have time to explain, persuade, waste my energy on all the children who, having barely finished one scandal, start another. Time is the only thing that is valuable and what we are sorely lacking. Many parents have probably been in this situation, because when we give birth to children, they mirror all our shortcomings, all our imperfections seem to mock us, increasing to incredible sizes everything that we diligently hide in front of others. However, the universe is brilliant and therefore gives us this experience, not at all in order to laugh at us and punish us, but so that we grow the inner child within ourselves and become truly adult individuals, people who have perfected the evolutionary plan of the earth. The Universe and nature have always been a teacher for us, the people living on it; all the evolutionary plans of the earth are recorded in it. A primitive society copies the model of life of primates, a more developed, agrarian society copies the model of life of bee colonies. Where do we get the model of the information society and how to form a successful personality in it? The universal model itself shows us some new laws and principles that we can observe if we look at the work of the cosmos. To form a new model it takes a little time and the intention to change life in your family and this should be written down, because what we write and realize , changes the patterns recorded unconsciously in the likeness of the stereotypes of the past and our family in which we lived. After repeatedly condemning my educational experiences, I realized several principles by which the universe interacts with us as our parent, shaping us on Earth as developed creatures capable of thinking, and therefore changing our lives.1. The uniqueness of creation. Each of us is unique, which means that nothing needs to be changed in the inclinations and characteristics of your child. He should be accepted and loved for who he is. Because only by looking at his strengths can we develop and improve him, while his shortcomings will gradually decrease if we do not focus undue attention on them. Why is it the other way around? In psychology, there is a phenomenon called “goal fixation,” when a person in a stressful situation fixes his attention on a problem and thereby strengthens it and makes it insoluble and even more ominous. So in upbringing, everything that we strengthen as parents with our attention flourishes in magnificent color. All the negative aspects of the child and his bad habits. The first thing we learn is to focus on the child’s strength and try not to notice his shortcomings, talking about them in private, when the child is able to hear and understand. But it is important to remember that your child is an evolutionary masterpiece, he does not need to be broken and remade, only guided and cared for.2. The choice is at the soul level. The child chose you as his parent and the situation in which he and you found himself, he also chose, this is how the universe ordered it, and this means that we stop judging ourselves for our unnecessary influences, for the mistakes we have made and forgive ourselves. Otherwise, development is impossible. If a feeling of guilt dictates our life and the child becomes a hostage to our guilt, and then must be grateful to us and pay for what we once did for him. Do everything to be happy and the child will be happy because of this. This also includes all the advice from our parents on how to act correctly and how we should act. You may be a completely different person and your parents' methods may not always work for you. For example, I don'tI can carry out the strongest punishment, because I remember how they punished me and I don’t want to apply this to my children. I have the right to raise my children out of love and take care of them as I see fit, if only because I gave them life, and not someone who gives advice. The basis of uniqueness is also a unique life experience and the path of the soul, which the child must intuitively find himself. When trying to help him in choosing a profession, we often make mistakes, since it is up to him to choose and live this experience. The only true way is to try new things and not be afraid, even a negative experience will give him the best idea about a particular action.3. Freedom and self-organization. If you allow your child to do whatever he wants (within reasonable limits), for example, play what he wants, eat what he wants, then you will be surprised to find that the child will stop himself when he gets tired, but he will be satisfied with his desire until the end and will no longer need it. Unsatisfied desires in childhood will grow into manic, inappropriate habits in adulthood, so many now depend on computer games because they themselves played little, were deprived of toys and often simply did not see such opportunities. If a child plays a computer game all day, he himself will want to do something else, and then you should invite him to do an activity that is useful for the family and that your child loves. For example, washing a dog after a walk, thoroughly soaping and rinsing it, and then drying it and even drying and scratching it will bring great pleasure to a child who loves to play with animals. You should not force them to do something that the child cannot stand, since all the protests that are expressed in childhood will be lived out in adulthood, which means that the child will suffer later, we don’t want that. A person is a self-organizing structure, and therefore he himself feels how much and what he wants to experience. You should only observe and study your child’s inclinations and abilities. It is also important to remember that this world was not created to be a prison and you can choose between a gendarme and a mentor that role that does not make you suffer from the pain that you cause to your child.4. Unconditional love. It manifests itself in situations where we make mistakes, then repent, sometimes we repeat the same negative experience again, causing ourselves and others pain, but God continues to love us and always gives us a second chance. A God who punishes and punishes is too cruel to be a god, and therefore it is worth giving the right to healing and renewal, and learning to forgive. Likewise, we must learn to love a child when he makes mistakes, explain to him and give him the opportunity to correct them. Do not punish him too harshly, since punishment is carried out automatically by life itself, the child must learn to see that the anger, hatred, and resentment he expresses lead him to suffer, he is not accepted by others, and unpleasant moments arise in his life. A child is a conscious being; the sooner you learn to see him as an adult, just not yet awakened, the easier it will be for you to build relationships with him. By experiencing love for him, you will teach him eternal values ​​that no one except his parents can instill.5. Consciousness of all things. Through you, the universe manifests its consciousness, through your work with loved ones, with your family, you become an improved version of the universe and your children, who are raised with love and consciously, also improve the entire universal plan. Children are an evolutionary version of you and your spouse. If you unleash this potential, you will be amazed at the magnificence of the universe, it takes away all that is best and erases all that is ineffective and imperfect for the world and a happy life in it. Consciousness presupposes one’s own experience, the ability to learn and go through one’s own path, focusing on one’s personal experience. But self-awareness always includes belonging to one’s own family, then to the people, one’s own.